I've got your picture
Oddly enough, someone did steal my middle school picture from a little collage of photos in my classroom. Is that the one you're talking about? Or, wait...if it's that really embarrassing one that somehow makes me look super-busty and was taken by a family that I nannied for, I'm going to be really mad. And embarrassed all over again.
Of me and you
Oh, whew. Wait a second...when did we meet?
You wrote "I love you"
Now you're just making stuff up.
I love you too
Aw...that's swee- wait! You don't even know me!
I sit there staring and there's nothing else to do
I never have nothing to do. Even in a room alone, I like to inspect my freckles. Perhaps give that a try?
Oh it's in color
Yeah, we've got color photography now, buddy. *gives look like "You're a dummy.*
Your hair is brown
Thanks. Thanks a lot. Now what secret of yours would you like me to expose?
Your eyes are hazel
I'd complain to your photo people about the developing job. My eyes are actually bluish-green.
And soft as clouds
Eyes aren't soft. They're actually like a water balloon SUPER full of water. Not like a grape, as I had originally thought. I learned that when Uncle Jimmy punctured his eye with a drill bit and water went all over his face.
I often kiss you when there's no one else around
Like, when I'm sleeping, you mean? Or like you kiss my picture? I get if it's the busty one, but if you're kissing my middle school picture, we have a couple of problems here. As a tween, I kissed my poster of Adam Ant with my lips coated in my roll-on "kissing stick" and it made the poster get all color-bleedy and wrinkled. So, perhaps if this photo of me means anything to you, you'll want to steer clear of that kind of making out.
I've got your picture, Yeah, I heard you the first time.
I've got your picture What, are you playing "keep away"?
I'd like a million of you over myself
Really think about what you're saying here.
I asked the doctor to take your picture
I'm sure that went over well.
So I can look at you from inside as well
Have you ever *seen* the inside of a lady? Don't get your hopes up.
You've got me turning up and turning down and turning in and turning 'round
I'm not doing jack, buddy. You're the one getting all revved up about my insides.
I'm turning Japanese I think I'm turning Japanese I really think so
How do you figure?
Turning Japanese I think I'm turning Japanese I really think so
I mean to say, what gives you that impression?
I'm turning Japanese I think I'm turning Japanese I really think so
You know- any bit of evidence would be helpful here.
Turning Japanese I think I'm turning Japanese I really think so
Yeah, and Matthew McConaughey thinks he's god's shirtless gift to the ladies, but thinking it doesn't necessarily make it so.
I've got your picture
Okay, so which picture is it that you've got again?
I've got your picture
You're a man of few details, I see.
I'd like a million of them over myself
If it's a million pictures of my inside lady parts that you're wanting all over yourself, I'd like to pronounce this conversation over.
I want the doctor to take your picture
I'm going eye doctor, here. Just so that I can keep the little bit of vomit that's trying to make its way up my throat down.
So I can look at you from inside as well
I wouldn't mind seeing a picture of the inside of my eye. Get doubles, please.
You've got me turning up and turning down and turning in and turning 'round
Here you go again. Taking no responsibility for yourself. Haven't you heard that a person can't *make* you do something you don't want to do. Unless they have a gun. Which I don't. I mean, I did. The last guy I dated gave me one as a Christmas gift, which was kind of odd. But I gave it back when we called it quits.
I'm turning Japanese I think I'm turning Japanese I really think so
If you can watch this video with pure glee and delight, I might give you about 10% Japanese-turning points:
Turning Japanese I think I'm turning Japanese I really think so
If you actually order that kit and make the meal, I'll bump you up to 50% Japanese.
I'm turning Japanese I think I'm turning Japanese I really think so
If you actually prepare AND eat the meal, you're on your way. I'm going to say 75% Japanese.
Turning Japanese I think I'm turning Japanese I really think so
You didn't. I knew it. You're David Fenton. From England. Get over it.
No sex, no drugs, no wine, no women
No fun, no sin, no you, no wonder it's dark
I'd like to suggest a little thing called a "gratitude list." It goes a long way to get rid of this little victimy thing you've got going on here.
Everyone around me is a total stranger
I'm guessing if you're wearing a suit made of photos of lady inside parts, people aren't too keen on getting to know you. Just a thought.
Everyone avoids me like a cyclone ranger
See my previous comment.
Everyone
Exactly.
That's why I'm turning Japanese I think I'm turning Japanese I really think so
Because Japanese people will be less creeped out by this sort of thing? I'm a little offended.
Turning Japanese I think I'm turning Japanese I really think so
I'm turning Japanese I think I'm turning Japanese I really think so
Turning Japanese I think I'm turning Japanese I really think so
Turning Japanese I think I'm turning Japanese I really think so
Turning Japanese I think I'm turning Japanese I really think so
Yeah, um, I'm just going to grab this picture of myself right off your desk...
Turning Japanese I think I'm turning Japanese I really think so
(Think so think so think so)
And kind of head out the door here. Good luck with your Japanese-turning, or whatever.
Turning Japanese I think I'm turning Japanese I really think so
Good luck with that.
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