Saturday, May 26, 2012

The Backstreet Boys and I Have a Conversation

Oh, I guess that includes me.
Rock your body!
Not sure what you mean exactly, but I'm gonna guess dancing. Which I enjoy. So, okay, I'm in.
Got my attention the first time, silly.
Rock your body right!
Quit being so critical. Everybody's got their own dance moves.
Backstreet's back, alright!  
Yeah. Alright. Jesus. Did you need to scream at me? And where'd you go in the first place?

Oh my God, we're back again  
From....? The Piggly Wiggly?
Brothers, sisters, everybody sing
I like the family feel you got going on here.
Gonna bring the flavor, show you how  
Just don't make it olive-flavored or anything with blue cheese, please.
Gotta question for you better answer now
Ooh! I'm good at this! Ready!

Am I original?
Um. No. Not really. There were a lot of boy bands before you.
Am I the only one?
Kind of just said that. Weren't you listening?
Am I sexual?
Definitely not.
Am I everything you need? Not at all.
You better rock your body now Oh, good. Back to dancing. I'm in.

Here I am!
Rock your body!
Still hope you mean dancing, because I'm bustin' out my best moves.
Still here...
Rock your body right!
There you go with the criticism again.
Backstreet's back, alright!
Man, you come and go a lot for a group that announces you're back again. You're like the cuckoo clocks of boy bands. Here! Gone! Here! Gone!

Now throw your hands up in the air
 Okay, fine. Like a line-dancing move or something?
Wave them around like you just don't care  
Feeling a little silly, but okay.
If you wanna party let me hear you yell
No, I'm totally fine on my couch right now, but thanks.
Cuz we got it goin' on again  
Um, I missed the part when you had it goin' on the first time.

Am I original?
This again? You are really insecure.
Am I the only one?
You're not even one of the ones.
Am I sexual?
No. No means no.
Am I everything you need? Nope.
You better rock your body now Or what? Are you threatening me, Backstreet?

You do realize I'm the only one here, don't you?
Rock your body
Fine. But only because I can't resist dancing.
Wow. You have thick skulls.
Rock your body right
I'm doing the running man! How much more could you want from me?!
Backstreet's back, alright!
So everybody, everywhere
That's a shit-load of people. You know that, don't you?
Don't be afraid, don't have no fear
Wait. I'm confused. Do you want me to "don't be afraid?" or to "don't have no fear?" 
Because the second one's a double-negative, which means you want me to have some fear.
I'm gonna tell the world, make you understand
Wait! Fine! Okay! I did it! I stole a bra from Famous Barr in Clayton in the 80s, but it was only because I wanted to appear cool to my older sister's friends!
As long as there'll be music, we'll be comin' back again
Oh, weren't about to share that? *gulp* Oops.

Oh. my. God. This again?
Rock your body!
I'm totally out of breath.
Everybody! What?
Rock your body right!
Nothing's ever good enough for you, backstreet.
Backstreet's back!
You didn't even go anywhere this time, numbnuts.
Rock your body!
I quit. You're pissing me off.
You're talking to yourself now, I'll have you know.
Rock your body right!
You'd make a horrible teacher. Or parent. Never have kids. 
Backstreet's back, alright!
Go away.