Singing The Headlines

Ohhhhhh, I don't wanna cook no meth in my purse.

I don't wanna cook no meth.
But if I did, using a soda caaaaaaaaaan,
I wouldn't do it at Wal-Mart.
http://www.ksdk.com/news/local/story.aspx?storyid=323068

Ohhhhhh, I don't wanna get busted for cookin meth twice.
I don't wanna get busted twice.
If I can't cook at Wal-Mart, maybe I can try this gas staaaaaaaation!
Oh, well. That didn't work out so well.
http://www.ksdk.com/news/article/324597/3/Woman-found-cooking-meth-in-local-Walmart-arrested-again

Ohhhhh, I don't wanna get stuck to a toilet seat.
I don't wanna get glued to a seat.
But if I sat down on a super-glued seeeeeeat,
I'd make sure it wasn't at Wal-Mart. (in Kentucky!)
http://www.ksdk.com/news/world/article/324579/28/Woman-Super-Glued-to-Walmart-toilet-seat

Ohhhhh, I don't wanna harass my neighbors all day.
I don't wanna make them cry.
But if I put nails in the street, came at them with a crowbar, called their autistic son a retard, gave them the finger, and dump bleach on their caaaaaaaars,
Well, just let me do my thing.
http://www.ksdk.com/news/world/article/324574/28/Nightmare-neighbor-with-15-arrests-says-let-me-do-my-thing

Ohhhhh, I don't wanna leave my hand-made business cards for prostitution on some windshields,
I don't wanna prostitute myself at all.
But if I did, and I worked for foxy lady's private escooooooorts,
I wouldn't want to get busted at Home Depot.
http://www.ksdk.com/news/world/article/324620/28/Prostitutes-busted-after-leaving-business-cards-at-Home-Depot-

Ohhhh, I don't wanna invent shoes that look like slave shackles.      
I don't wanna sell shackle-shooooooes.
But if I did-
that's just stupid. Wtf?
http://www.ksdk.com/news/watercooler/article/324584/71/Adidas-cancels-plans-for-shackle-shoes