Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Singing The Headlines

Ohhhhhh, I don't wanna cook no meth in my purse.
I don't wanna cook no meth.
But if I did, using a soda caaaaaaaaaan,
I wouldn't do it at Wal-Mart.

Ohhhhhh, I don't wanna get busted for cookin meth twice.
I don't wanna get busted twice.
If I can't cook at Wal-Mart, maybe I can try this gas staaaaaaaation!
Oh, well. That didn't work out so well.

Ohhhhh, I don't wanna get stuck to a toilet seat.
I don't wanna get glued to a seat.
But if I sat down on a super-glued seeeeeeat,
I'd make sure it wasn't at Wal-Mart. (in Kentucky!)

Ohhhhh, I don't wanna harass my neighbors all day.
I don't wanna make them cry.
But if I put nails in the street, came at them with a crowbar, called their autistic son a retard, gave them the finger, and dump bleach on their caaaaaaaars,
Well, just let me do my thing.

Ohhhhh, I don't wanna leave my hand-made business cards for prostitution on some windshields,
I don't wanna prostitute myself at all.
But if I did, and I worked for foxy lady's private escooooooorts,
I wouldn't want to get busted at Home Depot.

Ohhhh, I don't wanna invent shoes that look like slave shackles.      
I don't wanna sell shackle-shooooooes.
But if I did-
that's just stupid. Wtf?


  1. Lol to all of this. Great exposé of the news...

  2. Hopefully things in Korea aren't quite so sketchy!